How To Be a Body Positive Parent in 6 StepsUseful Tips on How To Be a Body Positive Parent in 6 Steps

As their developing bodies go through big changes, it’s only natural for kids approaching their teenage years to become more concerned about their shapes, sizes, and general appearance. A positive body image means body acceptance. This means that your teen or adolescent’s feelings about their outward appearance are primarily positive, and that they are fairly happy with the way they look. In a culture that’s saturated with images of thin or unrealistic beauty standards, having a positive body image can be a major challenge. While you may have little control over some of the influences that impact your child, you can take conscious steps to help make your role more positive and supportive.

Messages About Body Image

As their bodies change dramatically, the cultural messages that kids get from media sources, every day, can easily fuel dissatisfaction. Teens and preteens constantly compare their new appearance to these images and the way their friends look. It’s a sensitive time for them, so criticism or teasing can be especially painful.

Looking Beyond the Mirror

As teens grow up, they begin to develop a complex image of themselves. When they get older, this self-image will encompass all of what makes them unique- their passions, their talents, abilities, relationships, hopes, and dreams. But during their most awkward years, what they see in the mirror may be a major factor in the way they view themselves. If you notice that your teen seems preoccupied with his or her appearance, it’s important to remember that they are trying to adjust and get used to a reflection that is constantly changing. In a KidsHealth.org guideline for parents, they point out that it’s common for teens to:

  • Spend extra time grooming
  • Experiment with clothing, hair, and makeup
  • Make fashion statements

When teens and adolescents try out new looks or hairstyles, they’re usually attempting to develop a personal style that will help them fit it or stand out. Clothing that seems strange to a parent may be the norm for some of the popular kids at school.

Boys

Boys struggle with body image, too. Boys may not be as verbal about it, but they may spend just as much time fretting over their appearance as girls. It’s common for teenage boys to spend hours on what appears to be a baggy casual look or a simple new way of combing their hair. Boys are subjected to media images as well. Ads and TV shows also feature young men with impossibly perfect bodies and faces. Some sports may impose weight limits or goals that cause young males to focus on their weight and diets.

Self-Criticism

It isn’t always easy to feel self-acceptance in a world that promotes physical perfection at a time when your face is breaking out. Even kids with positive body images may have a hard time as they enter new schools and join new peer groups. Kids can be cruel. Any physical feature that draws attention may single them out for teasing.

Warning Signs

Obsessive behavior could be a sign that something is wrong. While teens adapt to their changing bodies, it’s vital that they learn to enjoy nutritious meals, limit junk food, and get a reasonable amount of exercise. Dieting should not be encouraged, experts say. Especially if your child seems to be overly self critical or constantly preoccupied with their size, weight, or appearance. Obsessive self-criticism could lead to a distorted self-image. A young person a with body dysmorphic disorder may fixate on flaws that are in reality only slight or imagined. Obsessive behavior that focuses on weight, size, food, or exercise are often the first indications of an eating disorder.

What Parents Can Do

As they go through the transition of their teenage years, teens and adolescents will benefit from having parents that understand. While you want them to feel confident about their looks, you also want them to learn to appreciate their best inner qualities. To help parents to be accepting, supportive, and encouraging, KidsHealth.org offers the following tips:

  1. Accept and understand.

Recognize that being concerned about looks is as much a part of the teen years as a changing voice and learning to shave. You know that in the grand scheme of things your daughter’s freckles don’t matter, but to her they might seem critical. As frustrating as it can be when they hog the bathroom, try to avoid criticizing kids for being concerned about appearances. As they grow up, this concern about their looks should not continue to rule their lives.

  1. Give them plenty of compliments.

Provide reassurance about kids’ looks and about all their other important qualities. As much as they may seem not to notice or care, simple statements like “you’ve got the most beautiful smile” or “that shirt looks great on you” really do matter. Compliment them on other physical attributes, such as strength, speed, balance, energy, or grace. Appreciating their physical qualities and capabilities help them build a healthy body image.

  1. Compliment what’s inside too.

Notice out loud all the personal qualities that you love about your kids -how generous your son is to share with his little sister, the determined way that your daughter studies for her tests, or how your son stood by a best friend. Reassure them when they express insecurity. When they say, “I hate my hair” or “I’m so little,” you can provide a valuable counterpoint.

  1. Talk about what appearances mean.

Guide your kids to think a little more deeply about appearances and how people express themselves. Talk about the messages that certain styles might convey. One outfit may send the message “I’m ready to party!” while others might say “I’m heading to school” or “I’m too lazy to do laundry.”

  1. Set reasonable boundaries.

Be patient, but also set boundaries on how much time your kids can spend on grooming and dressing. Tell them it’s not OK to inconvenience others or let chores go. Limits help kids understand how to manage time, be considerate of others’ needs, share resources, exercise a little self-discipline, and keep appearances in perspective.

  1. Be a good role model.

How you talk about your own looks sets a powerful example. Constantly complaining about or fretting over your appearance teaches your kids to cast the same kind of critical eye on themselves. Almost everyone is dissatisfied with certain elements of their appearance, but talk instead about what your body can do, not just how it looks. Instead of griping about how big your legs are, talk about how they’re strong enough to help you hike up a mountain. Show them that having a healthy and positive body image means liking your body, appreciating it, and being grateful for its qualities and capabilities. When parents care for and appreciate their own bodies, they are teaching their kids to do the same.

Need More Help?

If you believe your child could be suffering from the symptoms of an eating disorder, call Center for Discovery now at 800.760.3934. We’ve been helping families find their way to lifelong healing for nearly 20 years. Call today and speak with one of our highly trained admission specialists. Or click on the link below for a FREE assessment or virtual tour to see the treatment center closest to you. All calls are completely FREE and strictly confidential.

Call Us Today at 800.760.3934

Our effective behavior modification programs are personalized and tailored to fit your family’s needs. Center for Discovery’s integrated multi-faceted levels of care range from residential treatment, intensive outpatient programs, to partial hospitalization programs for adults, adolescents, and teens that are struggling with eating disorders, depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and most major mental health disorders.

 

Sources

 

KidsHealth.org: Encouraging a Healthy Body Image. Retrieved November 28, 2016.

Bustle: 11 Ways To Explain & Show Body Positivity To Your Parents, by Meg Zulch. Retrieved November 28, 2016.

NEDA: 10 Steps to Positive Body Image. Retrieved November 28, 2016.